Saturday, May 06, 2006

Seriously, can't I just give you $12?

I went to Payless this afternoon on a total whim. There's all that bogo nonsense, and I had seen some adorable flats in Lucky magazine that I wanted. I love Lucky magazine, especially because I have a very lovely co-worker who BUYS it and then when she's done with it she passes it off to me.

THEN THE REAL FUN BEGINS. Those stickers Lucky gives you? Bring it on. I usually get a drink, turn on some TV that I can proceed to ignore, and then rip out the page of stickers full of "YES!" and "MAYBE" to lay on the pages where I see something I like. Or would like to like. Or need for further reference when I have to discuss it. Or if I want to buy a knock off of it.

This gives me such great personal joy I cannot even begin to describe. Just like the Simpsons episode when Marge says "I'll just sit here and think of products I'd like to purchase" and then she closes her eyes and hums.

This is my closed-eyed, humming times. Where I can afford to buy that tunic, because someone's told me it's "effortlessly chic", which are two things I like. No effort and looking "sooooo goood!"

But back to the flats. They're cute and like $11.99 or something. So I walked the three blocks to the Payless next to the SALSA (not Spanish, who are these people?) Safeway and stuck my feet in about a hundred pairs of shoes. I tried on nearly every shoe there in size 8 up to 9 1/2. AND NOTHING. There were like three pairs of the flats I was looking for in that store, and not my size, But one close.

I had to talk myself out of buying the cute flats in a 1/2 size too small thinking back to other payless shoes that made me bleed. But seriously, where were all the cute shoes in size 8 1/2 or 9? The two full aisle of 7's were sitting there untouched, but the big-boated ladies had nothing to choose from but heinousness and more heinousness. What gives?

OH. And while I'm on the subject of "what gives?" and Payless, WTF is going on with people wearing THESE monstrosities around? UGLOR. STOP IT. Especially those red ones. Did you read the description? It says GARDEN. KEEP THEM THERE.

So listen up, Payless. Next time I need to get an image of Star Jones hawking shoes out of my mind, and to do so I want to give you $12 for some 9-time-use footwear, be a peach AND TAKE IT.


ElisaRocks said...

What? You didn't like the Canvas Linger Sling?? But they've got rope and suede detailing? (eep)

PS - I got you a gift card for fashion!! Sooo Goood!

Runjit Chandra said...

Those rubber shoes rank up there with Ugs in my eyes. What, did they just come from gardening in their backyard and were too lazy to slip off their ugly rubber shoes to put a pair of sandles or flip-flops on? I'm a guy and even i know that that is wrong.