Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Adventures of an ipod-less commute

It's 7pm.

I'm on the metro home from work. Late. Because even though I'm miserable, all of that birth order hoo ha is completely true. I am not going to break any rules, stop over-achieving (hi first-borns!), or disappoint my superiors just because of a little misery?!

So I am sitting in one of those coveted seats, with no inward-facing seats in front of me, in the first row. By the window. I'm ipodless, bookless, knit-less and paperless, for once. I usually need an army of supplies to get me through my 16 minute commute or I am as cranky as a toddler on an endless road trip.

So I'm employing the standard Marge Simpson method-- closing my eyes and thinking of items I'd like to purchase to pass the time.

As I'm off enjoying visions of not sugarplums, but slingbacks, I hear someone behind me.

"I'm gonna bust a rocket up your ass. Yeah, I said it. I'm gonna bomb you."

I'm snapped out of my fantasy of shoe shopping with Stacey and Clinton and think, "huh.... I'm not sure who that was directed towards", and decide to resume fabricating the perfect flat, knee-high boot.

"Yeah, and I need an apple, or yogurt or something.... With some FLAX!" the voice behind me exclaims.

Now I'm intrigued.

It's the million-dollar question.

Are they crazy, or is it just Bluetooth?

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

How to survive 30 mins on the elliptical with only the golf channel to squint at and nary a magazine in sight

Larger than Life - The Backstreet Boys

Hey Mama - Black-Eyed Peas

Never Gonna Come Back Down - BT feat. Mike Doughty

Smiley Faces - Gnarls Barkley

Stop - The Spice Girls

Ojos Asi - Shakira

My Love - Justin Timberlake (Diplo Remix)

Days Go By - Dirty Vegas

Touch the Sky - Kanye West

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

I don't always enjoy being a girl.

Today I cried at work.

Cue the chorus of groans, you've all witnessed a girl cry at work. I'm groaning along with you, really I am. That girl sucks. I hate her too. She can't just separate work and real life. She can't not take everything too personally. She can't stand up for herself, she gets overwhelmed, blah blah blah.

I read ya. Loud and clear. I received a "I'm worried about you" AND a pity coffee today.


In a time of layoffs, by the way. Again. Now with more beer money and less patience in waiting for my F-ing severance already!

The hot tears sprung to my eyes for the first place because my job is like working for The Terrible Trivium.

Like this:

So, after moving piles of sand with tweezers, drilling through mountains with needles, and emptying wells with an eyedropper, I had about had it.

So I cried.