Random Times

Strangeness begets strangeness in its most random forms.

An old college friend who I had not seen since the day his father drove him away the day after graduation come into town tonight. This is a friend I have known since DAY ONE of college at GW. Small group in Colonial Inauguration, that's how old. Meeting him for drinks with a bunch of old friends was hilarious, because though we all have grown up in some respects, we are all still the same.

It's funny to think what purposes certain friends serve. Every person isn't every friend. The word "friend" encompasses so many functions: comrade, co-worker, family, peer, lover-- yet we all sort of shrug it away. We have friends we call to try to pour our hearts out, friends we call when we want to get wasted, friends we call when we want to reminisce and (the occasional) friend we call when booty is the question and what follows is a complicated answer.

I am probably some of these friends to some people. Most call me with either super good or super bad news. I feel like in those situations is where I am best. People don't call me when they are looking for a blunt opinion, because let's face it-- I'm not the best when it comes to either tough love OR telling people something that's hard to hear. People call me for tea and sympathy, for laughs most likely at my own benefit, and for support in their decisions. I am ok with that, but the super hard truth is hard for me to pussy-foot around. Confrontation and I have never been friends, so why should confrontation be my friends friend?

What I am good for in a crowd is saying something that I don't mean in a sexual way and having it come out the fattest innuendo EVER. If you are looking for a good inside joke to recyle, I am your woman. Case in point: tonight. Rosemary's Thyme. After a very long, very involved conversation with people of all sexual persuasions, a nearly unanimous decision was made re: various shapings of women's pubic hair. (does that look like a Q to you?)

That became the David Letterman theory of comedy. You know, whenever something quiets, it's the joke you always come back to, waiting for someone else to piggy-back on your incessant repeating of a clever observation, summation of comments, or quirky phrasing. Whenever something was quiet for a moment, we went back to "genitals" or "landing strips" if you will.

My friend Drew made a comment about "yay genitals", his turn for a David Letterman theory humor take.

Then, to my horror, my mouth-which-just-had-multiple-margaritas said this: "Aah, Drew is Pro-Genital.... You know, it's really something he CAN GET BEHIND".

And then everyone falls to pieces. Because I said that. Without sexual connotations implied. Like genitals were a cause you could vote for or donate money to-- really get behind not GET BEHIND. Is that why people invite me places? Maybe. Who knows?

But that's what is funny about friendships, in many forms. They change shapes, colors, and time-zones but still you have that David letterman joke to fall back on. And there they are to quip back, digging you further into your attachments to them, from wherever they originally came.

I have friends I think very fondly of in all stages of my life: middle school, summer camp (WHY DID YOU NOT SAY ANYTHING ABOUT THE CUT OFFS?) high school, college, work, and beyond. You've all been there when my blue cue cards telling me what to say are ready. And I thank you for that.

Some people think that you are either attached to college friends, or high school friends more. I keep in touch (directly.... Thanks, internets!) with a disproportionate number of people on a truly regular basis, that I don't ever really tell college friends, high school friends, friends-of-friends and friend-friends-- especially those who are far away or whom I never call back because HELLO, I listen to my voicemails every 4 weeks...

I miss you all. You all are very lovely folks. I'm looking at YOU, people I haven't talked to in a while. I have pictures of us laughing. Paul Shaffers are hard to find. Play the keyboard and be bald. I'll make a joke, about it, in a blue suit and buck teeth, I swear. Or maybe you need someone around to wear small sunglasses and laugh at your jokes. I also serve that function pretty well.

That will never change. Everything else is workable.