Friday, January 20, 2006

Alley oop

and on the bandwagon, I arrive. Only about 6 years late, when all the cool kids wrote about their boring lives on the internet. NOW I CAN TOO.

the main kick-in-the-ass for this blog is to chronicle the SIMPLY FASCINATING challenge of joining the knitting Olympics. NO ONE CARES, but if it's on the internets, I cannot lie. WHEN is the internet EVER WRONG? I learned everything I ever needed to know from wiki-pedia.

So this knitting Olympics, brought you all the way from Canaidia by the fine Yarn Harlot. I am bored to tears of knitting rectangular lumpy things and small projects in the round. BORING. Only so many of ones body parts are that small and I've run out of children I know to knit for, and have moved onto friends' childrenly contacts- nieces, nephews etc. I'm taking up the challenge of trying to knit something harder than I would normally attack. I have from the opening to closing ceremonies (precisely 16 days) to knit a challenging project and suffer along with people who actually have skills that they can be on TV for.

I'm currently on the hunt for the perfect sweater pattern that will of course look like a million bucks. That means not looking like something an old lady would find at Kohls, and NOT be made of yarn that costs $10 a skein (that's knit-speak for BALL, all ye non-knitters. If you're reading this, you probably know me and know that BALLS! Is one of my favorite things to yell in crowded rooms.)

Like precisely half the women my age, I'm into knitting because that's exactly the kind of feminism + social graces that is softens all my awkward edges. Also, it fulfills my love of legwarmers, which I've suffered since I was old enough to twirl-- which I'm told, I did as a zygote.

like precisely half the women my age, I read dooce with such vigor that I could worship at her altar of constipated storytelling, and perhaps my ever growing blog-crack (especially local blog cracks [?] ) has inspired me to actually vomit upon the internets in such a cruel, inarticulate, self-indulgent manner.

in fact, this whole blog won't certainly be about knitting. It's a hobby that I've taken up simply because sitting still is difficult to overcome. I sat still for 6 years of Catholic School. I sat still for 18 years at mass every Sunday. I sit rather still at my job. I'm pretty good at it, thanks to a rather active imagination. But the problem is that once I get in my sitting-still groove, I can sit still for HOURS. Often in front of the TV. Sometimes at a desk. Occasionally on the floor. Knitting keeps my hands JUST carpal tunnel-y enough to stop and get UP ALREADY.

I'll be posting pictures of my progress, and posting non-fibrous things once I get bored of knitting this delicious sweater that WON'T look like a four-year-old made it. I swear.

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